Saturday, September 15, 2007

Spiders in the Tub

I'm all in favor of spiders in theory. I imagine that without spiders we would have been overrun with bugs ages ago. Spider webs covered with dew are truly beautiful, although that Texas park covered in web, ick. Creepy. Spiders in person, I'm not such a big fan. And spiders in the bathtub?

Look, it's first thing in the morning, I'm still adjusting to the concept of being awake, and all I want is to suck on my coffee and have a refreshing shower. Why do I have to deal with a spider in the tub? I am getting efficient at this operation, because it seems to occur on a weekly basis. I have to put a robe on, open the front door, grab an unwanted section of the morning paper and then persuade a very skittish arachnid that the newspaper is a better place to stand than his other option: the drain. Once the spider has made his move, I quickly dash to the front door, balancing newspaper and spider, fling open the screen door and make damn sure he's off the paper outside the apartment. Slam door, slip tainted newspaper into the recycling, and get back to the shower business.

What worries me is how often this happens. It's obvious that any spider who wanders into the tub is stuck there, but if it's happening on a weekly basis, how many damn spiders are padding through my apartment at night? I never see them when the lights are on, and there really isn't a lot of available spider food in here anyway. Good screens on the windows means almost no bugs. So why are the spiders here at all? And what is it that they're up to in the apartment with the lights out?

Or is this the same damn spider every time?

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